I met Todd when we were both in the first grade. My family had just moved from California to Florida after my father landed a job willing to relocate our whole family. We moved into the house next door to Todd’s family’s home, where we remained until my high school graduation. From a very young age, Todd and I did everything together. Our mothers were stay-at-home moms, and they became best friends. When Todd’s family had get-togethers, we were always invited. Likewise, when our family had get-togethers, Todd’s family was invited. Our families always celebrated birthdays together. We took summer vacations as one giant party. Whenever there was a concern with any children, both families stayed close together to support one another. 

Todd was my first everything, my first kiss, my first love, and my first date. We went to middle school dances as a couple, and he invited me to our high school homecoming dance and prom. I was head over heels for him, and the love that we shared was just magical. Shortly after our high school graduation, Todd proposed to me right before we both headed to college. Of course, I said YES! It was a dream come true and something he’d talked about for most of our teenage years. I thought that we would wait a few years before getting married, at least until we both graduated from college. 

Being separated took a toll on both of us, so we decided to get married the following year. Our parents were opposed to us getting married because they thought we were too young, and they wanted us both to finish college and begin our careers. Although they weren’t happy with our decision, they were highly supportive. Our wedding was nothing big, but it was something special for us. Even after getting married, we both continued going to college until I found out that we were expecting our first child. I dropped out before giving birth, where Todd and I decided that I would be a stay-at-home mom until the baby got older. Our life together was like a fairytale. We traveled, bought a home, and the love that we shared was amazing. For the first 18 years of our marriage, I never imagined having a life with anyone other than Todd. We had three kids by this time, we were financially stable, we had a home, and we were both getting older. 

Things suddenly changed when I got a phone call from Todd’s secret girlfriend informing me that she was pregnant. I was devastated, and I knew that my marriage with Todd would soon be over. Todd and I immediately talked about getting a divorce. Within a week of his pregnant girlfriend calling me, we filed for divorce. He moved out of our family home and moved into the home of his mistress. Our divorce took years to be finalized, and when it was finally all over with, I decided that it was time for me to go into the dating scene. Honestly, I  was really at a point in my life where I just wanted to go out and enjoy someone else’s company. 

Fast-Forward: 

The dating scene was nothing like I ever imagined. However, I adjusted pretty well, considering I had no experience with dating other than what I shared with Todd. I went in without any expectations. After about a year and a half of getting the taste of the dating world, I met Joseph. Joseph is a handsome fella, and he swept me off of my feet. We dated for two years before he proposed to me. Like many women think, I thought Joseph was kind of crazy for wanting to marry a woman like me. Joseph and I got married five years ago, and I want to share the important things that I learned about getting remarried after divorce.  

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Remarriage after Divorced: Things to Consider

• The chances of you getting remarried are high: If you are going through a divorce or you’re recently divorced, you may be thinking that you will never get married again. However, many people find love again, and you can too.
• Don’t rush into marriage: It might be a good idea for you to wait to get married. You need time to work through the emotions associated with going through a divorce. Allow yourself time to heal. 
• See a therapist: Therapy can play an essential role in reducing your chances of a second divorce. 
• Talk to your friends and family: If you are thinking about getting remarried, keep the communication open with your loved ones and get feedback from them. 
• Find a partner that you have a lot in common with: This should be a no-brainer, but it’s not. Opposites attract! You may have been more lenient in your first marriage only to find out that you and your ex-partner were not compatible in many areas and it caused a lot of conflicts in your relationship. 
• Your state might have a waiting period: You may have to wait if you are trying to get married, but you aren’t divorced yet. Some states have restrictions on getting remarried.
• Speak with an attorney before getting remarried: Play it safe. If you have a divorce decree, you want to make sure you aren’t violating it. Marriage can affect alimony, child support, custody, and inheritance provisions.
• Remember the prenuptial agreement: Don’t be afraid to have discussions about money. Come to a mutual agreement, and get that prenup signed! 
• Find stability in your: Unstable relationships are bound to lead to a divorce. Before you tie the knot, find a balance in your life and set healthy boundaries with your future spouse.

Remarriage after Divorce: Final Thoughts

Remarriage after divorce is a significant decision that you can make whenever the time is right for you. Think about your reasons why you’d like to get remarried and reflect on your last marriage so you can identify things that you would like to be different. Whatever you choose, and regardless of how long your previous marriage(s) lasted, there is hope. Just like I found Joseph, you too, can meet the love of your life and have your Happenings™ ever after. 

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About Happenings™ 

Based in Manhattan, Happenings™ founder Tom Noel would often take a walk through Central Park. In 2008, during one of his walks, he stopped to sit at one of his favorite spots in the Park, the Bethesda Fountain. It was here that he realized that the intrinsic beauty that surrounds us was not being fully harnessed. He also realized that not a single business provided the exclusiveness of an affordable and high-quality event planner. Determined to change this, Happenings™ was born.