Is it Too Soon to Propose? The Best Time to Get Engaged
Are you thinking about popping the big question but you aren’t sure if it’s too soon? Getting engaged is one of the most memorable events that couples will get to experience throughout their relationship. It’s a sign of vulnerability, love, commitment, and the beginning of a long-lasting future with each other. But how do you know that the time is right to propose? How do you know that marriage is right for you?
There are couples that have been together for decades, debating on whether or not the time is “right.” Likewise, there are couples that have only been together for just a few weeks or months before the big question comes up. So when exactly is the right time to propose? And when is it too soon to pop the big question?
The real answer is that there is no set in stone time limit for when you should propose to your partner. And it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together.
The most important factors to consider are the milestones that you’ve overcome in your relationship before saying “I do.” However, these milestones happen at different times in each relationship, which brings uniqueness to your relationship. Keep reading to find out if your relationship has passed the milestones and then decide if you are ready to move forward with an engagement or if you need more time to build a stronger relationship with your partner.
How to determine whether or not it may be too soon to propose to your partner:
You are able to openly communicate with each other
As a couple, you should be able to openly discuss everything with each other and should share the same vision of what your future looks like together. Before getting engaged you should talk about things such as your hopes, dreams, goals, careers, finances, and living situation, whether or not you want to have children, and what things are negotiable.
Having these healthy discussions before you get engaged are important and they will help you decide if it is the right time to propose to your partner. The last thing you want to do is get engaged, get married, only to realize that you and your partner have no similarities and neither of you are willing to budge. Of course, you don’t have to agree on everything but overall you should share many similarities on expectations for your future together.
Learn how to argue with each other
Yes, you read that correctly! Every couple argues, even the happiest ones. Arguing with your partner is not always a bad thing. When in an argument with your partner practice the fair fighting rules:
No yelling or raising your voice at each other
No making threats about leaving your partner
No hitting, pushing, grabbing, etc.
No talking over each other or interrupting
Be honest with how you feel
Seriously, don’t panic, it’s ok to argue with your partner, it can help you learn more about yourself and each other so that you can grow individually and together as a couple. While it takes couples time to master healthy arguments, when you do, it’s a good sign that you’re ready for marriage.
Live together as roommates or as a couple first
We know, Tradition says that couples have to wait until marriage to move in together. But nowadays, living together before getting engaged or married is quite common. And there are several good reasons why. You may think that you know everything about your partner's habits and your relationship. However, things can drastically change once you live together.
If you are hesitant to move in with each other for religious or other reasons, try living together as roommates instead of as a couple. This will help you learn your partner's habits, behaviors, and cleanliness.
You are willing and able to stay together during tough times
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and although not all couples experience tough times before getting engaged or married, couples that do, have a better appreciation for each other during tough times when it happens later down the road.
There’s no need to rush into thing
When you are ready, you’ll know. You’re still getting to know each other in the beginning of your relationship. This is typically the time that we are all on our best behavior. Of course, who doesn’t want to impress the person that they are dating? But as time passes and you get further into the relationship, you can make more conscious decisions. So even though there is no standard time on how long you should date before getting engaged, it doesn’t hurt to wait. This will help you determine whether you are truly in love and ready to commit to your partner, or if it’s just temporary lust. For better words, don’t act on impulse.
The amount of time that you wait to get engaged doesn’t determine how your relationship will turn out once you get married. Couples that get engaged after one year can be just as successful as couples that get engaged after 10 years. If you are still unsure about whether or not you should propose, take a look at traditional wedding vows and ask yourself:
Are you committed to being with your partner “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, til death do you part?”
If your answer is yes, then it may be time to pop the question!
You’ve decided to stop shopping around
If you are still shopping around to find out if the grass is greener on another side, it may be too soon for you to get engaged. Proposing to someone is serious, and so is marriage. Only do so when you’ve decided to stop shopping around.
You’ve met each other’s family and friends
You’ve both had a life before you had each other and that shouldn’t change. You should also be able to bring your partner around your friends and family members. If you have, you may be ready to pop the big question!
You are a power couple and work together as a team
Teamwork makes the dream work! Literally.
You are able to discuss your sex life
A healthy sex life is extremely important for a healthy marriage. Your sex life should be talked about before you decide to commit for the rest of your life.
You aren’t second-guessing your relationship
If you are having second thoughts about your relationship, you may want to hold off on the proposal to find out what’s causing you to have those second thoughts. It may just be engagement jitters! If so, then you are ready to proceed forward.
It’s time to go ring shopping and let the wedding planning begin.